this year. blink blink and bam it's gone. so i'm doing the whole think-it-over, internally-process-it sort of thing.

i'll probably talk about it more soon, but this year something huge happened. i had this lightning bolt to the head moment where something became clear to me in an almost painful way. i preach connection. there's gotta be connection. well duh, that's still there and that will always be the thing i want most. one of my "hills to die on." connection can't be sacrificed. WELL i learned something else that is important. and it is pretty similar to connection but still it's own hill.

RELATIONSHIP. if i'm rollin through your wedding and we're not getting a chance to interact, it seriously wigs me out. i don't know how to play the role of "vendor." i want to be one of the girls, hanging with the bridesmaids. i want an inside joke with your grandma and at the end i want to squeeze you in half and wish you the most wonderful of honeymoons. i want to leave full. fat happy and high on what you let me in on. maybe that's sort of selfish and some of you may think--just learn to put on the vendor hat and move on. but that's the crazy wonderful thing about being a business owner. i can choose to work with couples looking for that same thing. a team. people who will root you on not just send you an invoice at the end of the night.

the most fulfilling things i shot this year were because of my incredible couples who became my friends. i guess more so i've learned what "authentic" (boo, i know overused word but alas, i mean it in its truest form) means for me. who i want to be as a business owner, artist, person. i guess you could say i'm growing up! ha!

i also love getting to say "i made so many incredible friends this year." not "i shot x-amount of weddings this year." and wow. man. i am so freaking thankful for that. for all you blessed little babes who we got to know and love and cheer for.

and here are two such people to prove it. i miss them already. my sweet sweet friends. john and christina.